Just Look Around You ©2011 by Joe Sixtop all rights reserved

     Just look around you. WOAH! I didn't mean right now! You just keep your eyes glued to These American Servers™ for now, ok? After you've enjoyed, or at least consumed, this edition of TAS, then scan the scene. You're going to behold more buttcracks than a toilet seat. Seriously, it seems that everywhere you look, somebody's got their buttcrack exposed. Other than (so far) senior citizens, the buttcrack-revealing contingent contains every demographic you can think of. It used to be you could go months without seeing a buttcrack in public, however in 2011, you see them every day.
     That's not the subject of this edition of These American Servers though. This one's about back in April when I was at the training store. I was mostly working with servers, hosting professionals and to-go 'ho's. Wups! I mean ambulatory-chow coordinators. Yeah, that's better. Anyway, most of the CurveSide™ crew were adequate and a couple of them were real good. We had two of them that were horrible. One of them was so bad I'm not going to tell about him right now because he sucks so bad I don't want to even think about him.
     The registers at this store were exactly five minutes slow. I think it had something to do with happy hour. One girl couldn't handle the time thing. She would constantly quote pickup times that were overly optimistic by five minutes whenever she took a phone-in order. Even though it's against spec, I instructed her to just tell clients with call-in to-go orders "20 minutes" or whatever, instead of, say, "noon." She was unable to grasp the concept. So I tried to get her to add about five minutes to every pickup time she quoted. That was too much for her as well. Finally, I suggested that she buy a watch. I think every restaurant employee ought to be wearing one at work anyway. Even though I hate Wal-Mart, I told her she could purchase a decent time-keeping device there for less than ten dollars. But that just got me a story about how one time she jumped into a swimming pool with a watch on.