Friday, September 21, 2012

Corporate Picnics ©2012 by Joe Sixtop all rights reserved

     Did ya see the most recent previous episode of These American Servers™  ("Fun New Drinking Games," September, 2012)? It's a righteous repost. When it originally appeared it showed up in the Google searches of several people who were looking for "monday night football drinking games" and like that. So I decided to rerun it this year when Monday Night Football® came back. This time, you know how many search engine hits it got? Precisely bupkus. Oh well.
     How about the installment immediately preceding it ("Hogging the Parking," August, 2012)? That one did a letter better; a couple of obviously super-cool intelligent people read it and commented! One of them chose to remain anonymous and wanted to know what Corporate Picnics are, I guess being as how that episode mentioned them. Corporate Picnics are when a good-sized work group, like a doctors' office or a passel of attorneys or something, calls in a big to-go order. They're usually one check, thank God, but that gets made up for by oceans of special mods. These things usually get phoned or faxed in during the rush. There tends to be a lot of other bovine cabins accompanying them, like the clients wanting their actual names—instead of just the name of the menu item—on their opaque chow boxes. Once in awhile if it's a slow to-go shift I'll yearn for a Corporate Picnic but usually they happen when I'm already pretty busy and cause me to plunge even deeper into the weeds. On the plus side, most, although certainly not all, of the people who pick these things up are pretty cool and it's rare that I get a less-than-adequate tip on one.
     Incidentally—no brag, just fact—I invented the term "Corporate Picnic," at least so far as I know. I don't recall reading or hearing it anywhere before I ever first said it. My co-workers, and probably you if you work in a restaurant, knew right away what it meant when it premiered and some of them even got a little chuckle out of it.

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