Monday, August 20, 2012

Alleged Fan ©2012 by Joe Sixtop all rights reserved

     There were three of them, two men and a woman. They got seated up near the front, table 13 I think it was. One of them was clad in a golf-type shirt with his company's logo on it and the other two in more conservative business attire. They had a briefcase open and a lot of paperwork. It was pretty obvious that they were reps, or something like that, for a product called Arizona Iced Tea®.
     Their lunch was some kind of business confab so I played unobtrusive, silent server as much as possible. When they were through enjoying their entrees, they agreed to my suggestion that they share a dessert. After that was finished, they sat and conversed for maybe 15 minutes and then requested the single check. Just a nice, normal table during the slow afternoon. No big deal.
     I ran the plastic and returned with it. I thanked them and invited them to visit us again. I'd seen Arizona Iced Tea displayed at my neighborhood ShittyMart™ although I'd never actually purchased any. Just for fun, I said something like, "Hey, I got a can of that tea the other day," and named the store. "It's really good!" and witnessed three pairs of eyes light up.
     They were an easy table and nice people so I figured I'd be adequately compensated for my efforts but wasn't anticipating anything out of the ordinary. When I returned to bus my trio's vacated table, I looked at the voucher. I'd been left 12 bucks on a $40 check.

     It looks like Willard "Mittens" Romney has selected a running mate. I thought it was going to be Governor Fatass (R-NJ) but instead it's a weaselly Minnesota congressdude and alleged fan of Rage Against The Machine named Paul Ryan. I've thought of a moniker for their unholy pairing, you can use it if you want. I think it'd be great if it caught on with the general public although I'm well aware that, arising as it does from my struggling internet column here, that's very unlikely. Anyway, let call them the "Double Douchebag Ticket!"
     And just in case you're wondering, Arizona Iced Tea offers some diet varieties. I've since tried it and like it pretty well.


  1. I personally like "Twin Tools of Trouble" - but "Double Douchebag" has a nice ring to it. You make me laugh. I can't wait until this election is over - I won't make any predictions, but I hope Mr. Obama is still around while Romney is off licking his wounds. It's all just vile.

    1. Hi, great 2 hear from ya as always, I hope you are enjoying your new ride! Yea, as usual, it's picking the least hating it of two really bad choices. How about those Nats!?